no, i’m not “anti-adoption”

This has become a point of contention for many people. I’ve decided to repost this just as a friendly reminder.

I am not an absolutist, especially in very human situations like adoption and race.

People must remember not to confuse critical discussion with opposition. Real change can’t happen unless we allow ourselves to think openly and analytically.

headdesk

Updated 5/31/18

Before you angrily push the “share” button and furiously type a non-flattering explanation of my site, I’ll clarify my position: I am not anti-adoption, nor am I happily bouncing my way into that “pro-” category.

Thanks to the Internet’s uniquely divisive nature, I need to proclaim my stance in the most neutral, succinct way. And here it goes:

yawning cat - leusink
Photo by Erik-Jan Leusink on Unsplash

I am “adopt transracially with extreme prejudice.”

This means:

  • Doing legit research (not just blogs, reddit groups, or other online echochambers)
  • Realistically evaluating your understanding of race and your attitudes toward it
  • Reviewing the community in which you live and objectively assessing its ethnic-friendliness
  • Reading perspectives from both sides of the adoption experience and anticipating potential issues

It also means really, truly sitting with your expectations for transracial adoption and really, truly, honestly appraising your ability to provide for the unique needs of a transracial child.

This may mean listening to anyone else but your family and friends and maybe hearing a transracial adoptee’s (TRAd) perspective, peppered with some honest-to-goodness academic research.

Since there are no hard and fast guidelines established yet for navigating these complexities, I’ll offer suggestions (not solutions) based on forty-plus years of research on the subject and leave you to determine what best works for your family. My hope is that you’ll find some common threads that pull it all together and pick out what works for you.

If you are considering transracial adoption,  this site’s for you.

If you are a transracial adoptive parent (TRAp), this site’s for you.

If you are a TRAd, this site’s for you.

If you are simply interested in exploring racial complexities and how adoption isn’t the solution to ending racial problems, then I think you’ll want to sit and stay awhile.

3 thoughts on “no, i’m not “anti-adoption”

    1. Thank you, Chuck! I’m so glad you found your way here. I try to be firm, but fair. I believe that meaningful discussions can only happen when we’re clear, unaccusing, and well-informed.

      I’m looking forward to getting to know you!

      Sunny

      Like

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